1. Be True to Your Word

Trust and dependency needs to be rebuilt with your children after a breakup. Regardless of the reasons for your break up, your children tend to lose faith in both parents. So you need to help them rebuild their trust and meet their expectations at this time. One of the best ways you can do this is to be true to your word.

Don't make promises lightly. When you do make a promise, keep it. Your children need to know that you are dependable and believable. By doing this, you are showing them how important they are to you.

2. Listen

Your children want and need to be heard, just like you do. It’s the easiest way for you to connect with them. The best time to do this is either when they come home from school – they have so much they’ll want to download ( and I don’t mean music!) or you can listen to them at the dinner table. Either way, listening gives them the opportunity to share and you the opportunity to find out what interests your children, what is upsetting them and how they feel.

3. Assure Them

Most children of break ups believe, that in some way, they have contributed to the break up. It is your role to patiently explain that it had nothing to do with them and then find the gentlest words you can to explain that you and your ex simply didn’t make each other happy. But remember to tell them how happy it makes both of you to be their parents.

4. Spend 15 Minutes A Day In Quality Activity With Your Kids

Put aside the ironing, cleaning, cooking etc for just 15 minutes a day, and give your kids your undivided attention. It' only 15 minutes, but it will mean so much to your children that they don't have to compete with everything else. Choose how you spend those 15 minutes by giving your kids options… and the final choice. You will all grow to appreciate and love that special time together.

5. Love Them Unconditionally

Now is the time to refocus on really loving your child. They need the extra reassurance that your love for them won’t go away or be conditional, as it may have been with your ex. Children need to know they are loved, no matter what. Hug them, hold them, laugh and cry with them. Even if they misbehave, remind them they are good kids; it’s their behaviour that is bad, not them. Love , love, love. It’s the best healing medicine of all.