Always Half Full

Half glass full is what I am, but there are still days or weeks when I wonder what life is all about. I know we are meant to learn from all our lessons, but isn’t there a time when school’s finally out and we earn our life degree?

 You might have wondered why I haven’t been writing my weekly blog for a while. Well, I had another of life’s lessons and I injured my writing hand.  For most people it would be an inconvenience but for me it completely alters my life.  My writing hand is my living and my love. When I write it is from the truest part of my heart and it is my hand that expresses those emotions to the world.

 I fell over an irregular footpath. A tree root had lifted the pavement high enough that I catapulted forward, my glasses and mobile phone competing for distance. What stopped me landing face first was my heroic right hand. Although I am dutifully bound to say thanks to it for saving my teeth, my hand is now braced and unable to move.

 It’s been almost a month. I have learned many things; the humility of asking for help; the knowledge that I truly depend on myself; the reality of how much writing contributes to who I am and who I wish to be.

 Just before the accident, I decided to embark on the bravest journey of my life. My daughter and I will be relocating to Oxford for a year. Never have I been so touched by a town and its people or felt so centered. While it sounds like a holiday, it is not. I am determined to change the direction of my life and explore my ability to write fulltime and move away from a career dictated by others.  I have no idea how I will earn enough money to get to Oxford, let alone live there, but somehow, someway, I will do it! It’s too much to constantly say I don’t like the way I live. Every day I age and watch the big numbers looming. The only person capable of making a stand and doing something about my life is me.

 So now I look at my glass and instead of seeing it draining away, I start to see it filling up. My hand may be damaged but it will eventually heal and I will surely value it more than I ever did before. And while this set back initially made me very fearful about this trip, I now feel more determined than ever to make it a success! Life is about lessons and I doubt we ever finish learning. All we can do is shift our attitude and listen more closely to the teacher.